Day 52 : Visions
The past few days (or weeks) have been pretty intense spiritually, emotionally and physically. Missionary school is kickin my butt hard, and I love it. I want it to. I want my heart to be tossed around so much and for me to experience so much every day in class about God and who He is and who I REALLY am. I love to experience God in such a real and intense way.
For quite some time I’ve been praying specifically for the school to be united as one Body for Christ. For us to be unified with the same heart and mind for this school and for our lives as missionaries for God.
With praying for that for a few weeks, God has revealed to me so much about myself and my role as a missionary for Him, and He has revealed so much about the school to me as well.
All this has been through visions. And that is what I’m about to share.
A particular vision has hit me on my knees for the past few days and has left me in so many questions, but yet so much peace and love for God and how He works.
Here we go…
Vision I : The Tigers Below
In the castle I go to school in, there were 4 floors in this vision (in reality there are only 3). On the top floor was God, and His people that were ready to experience the new season in their life with God. These people and students on the top floor were wanting to change and were wanting to live for God and give up their life for God. Then, as I looked below, I saw the bottom floor. At the bottom floor there were another group of students down there. As I looked closer I saw the students being devoured and being eaten by tigers.
As I asked God why this was happening, He revealed to me saying that “The students who are down below, being devoured by the starving tigers, are the ones who are cowards. They are the selfish sinners who do not want to give up their life for me and who want to live in their own selfish desires and pleasures. The tigers resemble Satan. And they are FREELY giving Satan control over their life, and that is why they are being devoured and completed demolished by Satan and his tigers.”
That was the first part of the vision. For a few days it was constantly stuck in my head, and I was trying to figure out where I was in this whole vision. The bottom? Or the top? Which students where on the top or bottom? Why did God choose tigers to resemble death? And how do the others reach the top floor?
Initially, I thought I was on the top and I was totally “a-ok” with where I was with God. I thought I didn’t need to change and that I needed to help others to reach the top. But God totally proved me wrong…
I felt like I should keep this vision to myself for awhile and just wait for God to reveal to me a time to reveal it to the whole student body and school.
After a week passed by, with this vision attached to my heart, God revealed more to me during class when we were all worshipping and praying together. He revealed to me more of the vision, and it goes like this…
After God telling me what all the things resemble, He answered a question of mine. The question was, “How do I/others reach the top of the stairs to You?” He said “Simply walk up these stairs and stop giving Satan what he wants. Stop feeding the tigers, walk up those stairs and come to Me.” and He also revealed that I was on the bottom floor, freely giving things over to Satan to rule over me.
When He revealed this to me, I was completely shocked and just in awe. When He revealed this to me, I fell on my knees and just completely broke before Him.
As God was telling me this, in the vision I saw myself climbing those stairs on my hands and knees. While I was trying so hard to take each step, the tigers were gnawing and gnashing at my feet.
Then God spoke to me again, “Every step you take, leave everything behind, your burdens, your worries, your clothes, EVERYTHING! And come to me completely naked!”
So, I did just as He said. Every step I took, I took off a piece of clothing and threw it to the tigers. I took off the burdens on my back and chest and left them behind and kept walking.
I was realizing that every step up those stairs was so hard. It felt like it was the hardest thing in my entire life to do. To actually leave everything behind to try and reach God. To give up everything, my past, my burdens, and clothes, and just walk, no matter how much the tigers gnawed at my feet, I just kept crawling up those stairs.
Upon reaching the top of the stairs, I was completely drained physically and emotionally. I had nothing left to give, I had nothing left to throw off my back. I was bleeding and broken at this point.
When I came to the top, I opened up the double doors, and when I opened, I saw God in all His glory.
He spoke to me again and said “Finally Taylor, you have came to Me, completely surrendered everything you had, and now I am here to form you and shape you into a new person.”
When He said this, He stressed the word “Finally.” More like “FIIIIINNAAALLLYYY!”
Then, after speaking, I saw Him take my own body and cradle my broken body in His arms. As I was standing there watching myself being held in His arms. He kissed me on the head and then layed me down upon His feet. I looked down on myself, and then noticed that I wasn’t Taylor Pool anymore. I wasn’t the hurt, broken, bruised and bloody person I used to be. But I was a new born. When I saw what was on His feet, it was a new born baby, with new skin and with peace in his heart, sleeping.
Then God spoke and said “Now my dear child, come and sleep, and I will give you rest. Thank you for giving up your life. In return, here is new life and peace.”
Now, God has spoke. He has showed me the most beautiful vision, most beautiful pain I’ve ever experienced.
He wants me to pass this vision on in hoping that others will react to it and would want to do the same.
God wants you to walk up those stairs and take off everything from your life that is holding you back from Him, and just leave it.
I want people to experience the great Peace we all seek.
That’s all my heart desires, and that is all I want.
Please, take a moment to think about this vision, and how the representation is so powerful. Take time to even ask God where you stand in the castle, and what you are giving Satan freely to devour.
I can only try to express how my heart feels about this vision and the people who are giving their life up to Satan and not caring about those stairs to walk up.
“Won’t you come down Heaven,
Won’t you come down Heaven and cut through the clouds.”
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On another note, my heart is so tired.
Tired is the only word I can sum up right now.
I want people to pursue love like I pursue love.
I want people to pursue friendship like I pursue friendship.
But I know I’m 99% different from the person who is next to me.
And I know I fail so much at pursuing friendship and compassion to others.
This just proves that I should pursue God more than anyone else in this world.
He gives me great peace and comfort. He will be able to take my anxieties away. He will never run away from me. He will be patiently waiting for me to come to Him. He will always kiss me on the cheek and embrace me with a hug. He will be there always.
And I shouldn’t expect that from others, at all.
But sometimes I fail and I do expect those things from friends.
Again, I want the tigers to starve. I don’t want to feed them this any longer.
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Wichita, KS
Showbread playing in Wichita, KS
Wichita, Kansas
Wichita, Kansas
Hamburg, Germany
Jewel Upon His Crown (wedding in Mcpherson, Kansas)
